I am an abundance of broken relationships
of weak family ties
long winded friends
and distant lovers.
I am the scars on my arms
that reach all the way to my heart
from the multiple roses I’ve held
with my hands
in my arms
and thought, they would be as close.
I am the moment you say goodbye
It’s not accompanied by tears but
It has to come to an end this way
and instead of making it something distasteful
to feel ugly about in recollection
you learn that the memories we’ve made
you’ll miss them.
I am an abundance of broken relationships
I had the dream of us again
the story we told
of fairy tales and majestic wishes
that take place under the starline
with a city polluted with illumination,
though it all blurs together.
I saw nothing but you.
I saw the sky cave in and give way
of our wishes
when life was as simple as staring at the moon
as it crept it’s way through the shades.
hitting us in sliced pieces.
And your hair filling the canyon that is my collar bone
whispering secrets underneath your breath
to the beat of my heart.
I thought of you again
of when love wasn’t a question
when you smiled at me without me even saying a word.
How life was so unforgiving,
How even when we were feet apart
it felt as though we were 1000 miles away
but when I reached my hand out to you
it’s as though I were here all along.
I dreamt of love again…
Thinking it’d be of you.
Infatuated with chaos.
from the corner which
finesse and destruction meet.
To the edge of your comfort zone.
Death of the self is the next step
I welcome suicide
to relieve and grow
What does it mean when you fall off the earth?
What exactly stays
if you take the wrong step?
Death takes your soul
but as well your shadow.
How do we measure a life
in revolutions of light
if nothing is set right
when the moon bestows night.
What do you do when you have no one to go to?
when you trap yourself in your head.
Whats the conversation then?
when all you have is yourself?
We imagined and spoke of grandeur
as if it were the only truth
a solace of our longest dreams,
one of me and you.
We told tales of when would be’s
and where we will’s
Still, was forever time
in mind of hearts so ill.
We went together like the colors
and the clouds in the sky
when the sunsets
making such a beautiful memory.
These days, I find myself missing you
as do the leaves from branches
during the fall.
Missing you like a lovers separated by war.
I find myself missing you like a bird
with clipped feathers
misses the sky,
hoping the wind can blow again for me
While saddened, I don’t resent.
in reflection I do not regret.
For you as you are I accept
with no qualms or excepts.
Whether or not I learn what this meant
if everything had the best of intent
You will always have my respect
as long as you’re content.
I hate self loathing and self pity or whatever you want to call it
but I just don’t feel good.
I am infinite.
The reflection in the mirror
that bounces to another
inescapable of return,
the present moment that stays true.
I am definite
solid as the rock
that digs and stands on the ground
of the earth that gives us
just a playground
There is never an end
never a beginning.
Ultimately, there just is.
I kissed her hand
Starting from her forearm
down her wrist.
I gave each side a turn.
I pressed along both sides.
all the way to her finger tips.
Sometimes a person’s hands
can tell you everything
you may ever need to know about them.
A disaster is the way
we fell in love
like the creation of the universe
our hearts collapsed
and then imploded
not only the most beautiful thing
to ever lay eyes on
but to ever happen
for all of mankind.
JT’s 20/20 is my jam.
I by definition
am the tightness in your arm
when your clench your fist
above your heart.
The exhaustion in your legs
when moving seems to be the only option left
struggle in your muscles
heat in your veins
I am the difference between
days where you will change
or remain the same.
I’ve been on the brink of death
and instead of clenching my eyes
I’ve clenched my teeth.
Instead of crying
Instead of panicking
when I’m falling out of the sky
I relax and welcome the ground
as my target
because the sooner I can land
the sooner I can jump back up.
We all got a broiler inside.
Crisp, crackling, that fire.
It burns on oxygen—empty air.
Not the fullness of family,
That fire burns and gasps for air,
saying, bring me more.
We learn little from comfort;
much from emptiness.